Les Miserables:Ex-criminal can't catch a fucking break. Crazy cop can't handle multi-dimensional personalities. Boring love interest remains everyone's least favorite character. Everyone you love dies.
The Phantom of the Opera:Overly dramatic opera singer is caught between a dick boyfriend and a serious case of Stockholm syndrome.
Wicked:Misunderstood loner chick tries to help people and everyone fucks her over anyway.
West Side Story:Romeo and Juliet with really tame gangs and sassy Puerto Ricans.
Grease:If your asshole love interest doesn't like your personality, change everything about yourself.
Cats:Freaky looking cats. That's it. There's literally no plot.
The Book of Mormon:Sex joke, sex joke, sex joke, religion joke, race joke, sex joke, sex joke, sex joke, MORMONS!
Guys and Dolls:One gambler fucks everything up that causes him and his fiancee to fight, make up, kiss, break up, get married, and another couple to basically do the same.